The Markings of Royalty

“Hi, I’m Sarah.”

“This is Sarah.” “That’s Sarah, over there.” “You’re Sarah?!” “Sarah!! I’ve missed you!” “Hi, Sarah, nice to meet you.” 

Yep. That’s my name. That’s me. Sarah. 

“Wait, which Sarah? Sarah B? Sarah C? Sarah with the curly hair or Sarah with the blonde ponytail?” “You’re also Sarah?”

Yep. That’s their name, too. There are a lot of us out there.

As long as I can remember, I despised my name. Sure, being raised in a Christian home, I knew that I was named after the woman that was married to Father Abraham that laughed when God told her she was going to bear a child at the ripe old age of 90, but as far as I was concerned, it wasn’t a cool enough name (or person) and every other girl I met already had that name. There were plenty of other women in the Bible. Deborah? Fierce judge raised up by the Lord. Ruth? Faithful woman of God who was chosen to be a part of David’s and Jesus’ lineage. Ester? Beautiful young woman that saved the entire chosen nation. Jael? Saved Israel by murdering a man with a tent peg in his sleep. Those were some dope women. And I was named after an old lady?

Ugh.

Not only that, but her name meant “princess.”

Princess. Pink frilly dresses. Prince Charmings. Being stuck inside learning how to embroider and balance books on your head when you could learn how to ride a horse or shoot a bow and arrow. Having to socialize at boring dinners and undergoing arranged marriage and no burping and no wrestling and no running. Hours spent in tight corsets and beauty treatments, but not on fighting or diplomacy? Only the pretty face whose purpose is to produce heirs. The king did all the work. No say, no skill, no freedom. 

Gross. 

“Your name is Sarah? You know that means ‘princess,’ right?”

Yes, everyone. I know. 

---

The book of Proverbs has been my primary focus for the past three months. Finishing the Psalms and realizing there was a lot to learn, I directed my attention to Proverbs, knowing it to be the book of wisdom. 

And lemme tell ya, I’ve learned a lot. 

Themes: Fear of the LORD, righteousness, wise men vs. fools, the benefits of discipline and reproof. Stewardship, wisdom, knowledge, discernment. Understanding. The consequences of the words we say. Pride. Humility. The list goes on. Not sure if you’re an idiot? Perfect, go read Proverbs 26 and find out. You’re just a guy looking for some advice on how to live in society? Great. Turn to Proverbs 28. Want know how to treat your friends? Proverbs 27. Think you’re justified in your lust? Silly, go read Proverbs 5-7. Want to know if what you’re saying is uplifting? Read Proverbs 10 and think again. Are you simply looking for a short piece of fantastic literature? Proverbs 25, dude. Bon Appetit.

I’ve enjoyed my time in Proverbs. I have loved reflecting, knowing that I am chasing after wise things. I have also loved feeling the conviction of learning that isolating myself and being a workaholic is something that the Bible deems foolish (whoops). 

But what was the overarching theme? Wisdom, yeah, sure. Classic. But from my experience, what was I learning personally through this journey of 31 chapters?

It didn’t hit me until yesterday. Sitting down at a coffee shop, I plopped open my hefty study Bible to Proverbs 30, determined to finish these last two chapters before changing scenery for the next week. After scouring through that chapter, I sat, and took a breath before starting Proverbs 31.

Ah, yes. Chapter 31. If you’re a Christian woman, you’ve had this read to you before. Everyone skips over the first nine verses to continue onto the section about the markings of a woman of God. Don’t get me wrong– I love verses ten through thirty-one, but I don’t think I had ever read the first nine verses. And here’s what I’ve found:

There was this dude named Lemuel. Actually, he wasn’t just a dude, he was a king. We/I don’t know really anything about King Lemuel, but he’s in the Divine Scriptures so, Israelite or not, we’ll heed his words; however, verse one actually prefaces that the whole of chapter 31 was words that his mother told him, so shout out to her for the wise advice. And while I totally think you should take the time to read those nine verses on your own time (or, ya know, the whole book of Proverbs…), allow me to set a stage and paint a little picture.

---

Imagine, this 20-something-year-old man who has started his kingship off on the wrong foot. He’s a little too focused on finding his true-love (maybe he’s watched too many Disney movies), so he’s been wandering around the streets, chasing after every pretty face he sees. Of course, it ends in heartbreak, so he finds himself wasted at the bar to drink away his sorrows. His mom, who has no tolerance for the stench of desperation and whiskey permeating from her son, invites him for a little mother-son night. He’s thrilled– he adores his mama. They have a great night, and there they are, sitting in her section of the palace, sipping her tea while he tells her of his woes and sorrows. She takes a breath, sets her tea down, and looks him lovingly in the face.

“My son,” she says gently, yet unwavering, “what are you doing?”

The support that he was hoping to receive from her is not there. He is crestfallen. 

And with all the love that a mother has for her son, she calls him up into the position that she knows he’s meant to be in. 

“I love you, but you have to stop acting like something you are not. You are a king. A king, Lemuel! Kings do not allow themselves to be trampled on and manipulated by women. They do not undervalue themselves so much so that they bend to a commoner’s opinion and waste away their wits to forget their self-induced sorrows! Those are the actions of people who do not know their worth. Instead of indulging in destructive habits, listen to me! Focus. Remain pure in thought and deed. Remain sober. You are a mouthpiece for the unheard. You are a spokesperson for the unseen. You are called to be a decent ruler and to be an upright judge. You are to defend the people you love and watch over them! You are called to know your worth.”

I don’t know Lemuel’s heart. Whether he loved it when he first heard it or not, he eventually heeded the advice, seeing as he passed down this wisdom and we get to read it now. But regardless of how he took it, his mother recognized something. He was a king, and he needed to start acting like one. He was royalty, and therefore was called higher in word and deed. 

And it hit me. 

He was chosen. He was royalty. He was there to oversee his nation and to nurture it well. He was not purposed to indulge in sin and fantasies. He was meant to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which he had been called. He was there to bring glory to his kingdom. To help grow it and expand it. The things that his mother called him into were things for his benefit and things that were a part of the role he had been given. As her son, she was going to make sure that she loved him enough to tell him who he was. Hmm. 

Lemuel is sitting, pondering on the words his mother has said. She was right. 

“But mom,” he says pensively, reaching for his tea, “what about me? I want a wife. I want someone who will love me. I want a queen.”

At this, his mother throws her head back and utters a laugh. There is nothing regal about it. She rears her head as a genuine snort is heard echoing off the palace walls. Lemuel waits in confusion, watching his mother’s reaction to his genuine concern. 

“My dear son,” she says, giggling as she wipes a tear from her eye. She looks him directly in the eyes suddenly with all the seriousness in the world. “What makes you think you would ever find a queen in the streets?”

She apologizes for laughing, and listens intently to her son’s distress. “Then where is she?” he cries, “I have searched high and low, I cannot find anyone! Who am I to look for? Tell me, mother! Where is my queen?”

The queen smiles, rises, and walks over to sit next to her beloved son. In that moment, she proceeds to speak the Proverbs 31 woman into existence. 

That’s how I read the transition from verse nine to verse ten, anyhow. This mother spewing profound wisdom to her son. I don’t think I have to type out all of Proverbs 31 to you, seeing as you might already know it. But sitting in the coffee shop, I didn’t just read about a woman so good at making linen and wearing purple that she’d be the perfect wife. No. I read about a woman so secure in her own faith and identity that she is deemed worthy of being a part of the royal family.

But there’s an introduction to the first nine verses laid out for me that I’ve always missed because I’ve never read it as a whole. Yes, the Proverbs 31 woman is incredible. And because of all of these good qualities she has, she’s worth high status. Not just by being a king’s wife. Not by being the Snow White Prince Charming is looking for. But royalty by God Himself. This woman isn’t just a commoner. This woman is the type of woman that the King and Queen look at and say, “yes. She is fit for royalty.” 

---

 The Proverbs 31 woman, of royal blood or not, is an absolute queen. Lemuel’s mom really went all out describing her. Here’s my list of qualities this incredible woman possesses:

She’s a rarity. You will not find her slumming her way through the streets. She is to be cherished and revered. 

She is trustworthy. She protects her covenant of marriage, and her husband respects, loves, and trusts her because of it. 

She is loyal. She is committed. She is unwavering in her decisions. 

She is skilled. A master at her trade. Incredible at the work she’s doing. Maybe even in things you never knew she could do. Full of surprises.

She is responsible. She gets things done on time and with excellence.

She has a strong work ethic. 

She is a provider. She knows how to provide for herself and knows what her family needs.

She’s financially competent. She does not let anyone rip her off. She knows her stuff. She invests. She plans ahead. She’s probably got a solid budget going on, too.

She’s independent. She’s been livin’ life for a while, she knows what to do. Unhealthy codependency on anything is something she recognizes she does not need.

She’s self-aware. She knows her limits. She knows her strengths. She recognizes her weaknesses. She knows when to give herself grace.

She’s smart. You can’t fool her. She’s curious to learn more. 

She’s disciplined. In her faith, in her health, in her friendships… she understands balance.

She’s strong. She’ll help you move the couch into the living room. 

She’s kind. Christ is evident in her every action. 

She’s generous. The Lord has blessed her, and she will faithfully bless others. 

She is prepared. 

She strives for excellence in everything she does. She also understands the difference between perfection and excellence.

She is of noble character. She is spoken highly of by others and is an inspiration to all.

She is socially apt. She knows how to barter. She’s got people skills. She’s got connections.

She is an entrepreneur. Legit business owner or not, she runs her own show with high quality and excellence.

She is secure. In her identity, in her work, in her family, in her faith. Unwavering, but not pridefully stubborn. She exudes humility.

She is wise. She’s read Proverbs, she knows what’s up. She pursues Christ, she responds to conviction.

She is a teacher. She guides and directs others in the way of the Most High God. She knows her theology. She knows how to advise. 

She is diligent. 

She is loving. Full to the brim. Overflowing, and returns to the correct source to renew her love.

She is loved. How could she not be? 

She is proactive. She takes the initiative. She’s the first to confront, to love, to check in, to find answers, to help others.

She is worthy of praise. Give her some love. Let her know she’s doing great things for the Kingdom.

She is honorable. In word and in deed.

She is reputable. The first referral. The first suggestion. The primary pick. 

She is God-fearing. 

---

To the women reading this, thank the Lord. We are not meant to be passive and simply viewed as a body or a baby-making machine. (In fact, nowhere in that list does it say she has to be physically perfect. Her character makes her beautiful.) The ideal woman is hard-working, independent,  socially apt, and humble, fully aware of her worth. This idea of being a posed princess in pink is totally wretched by this chapter. To the men, who’s to say this list doesn’t apply to you? Who wouldn’t want to be these things? Join us. Strive for excellence. 

As children of God, we are heirs to the King. As heirs to the King, we are called to live in a manner worthy of royalty. God didn’t command his princesses (and princes) to balance books on their heads and wear corsets to dinners (although, there is a time and a place for everything). The women and men that God seeks out to be a part of his royal kingdom are princesses and princes, but they are also soldiers, warriors, zealots and radicals. Diplomats, well-postured and well-spoken, and simultaneously men and women of action, embracing our royal status and God-given commands.

That’s what the book of Proverbs is. It is a book written by a king inspired by The King, telling fellow kings and queens of the way we ought to live. As royalty, we are called to live wisely and speak prudently and remain humble. 

So “Sarah.” To all of the princesses. We were not named royal to watch The Kingdom burn. We were deemed princesses to help The Kingdom rise. So let’s grab our Shield of Faith, let’s bustle up our dresses, grip tight to the Sword of the Spirit and let’s fulfill the royal command our King has called us into.